Those people that are closet to me are very aware of a little (okay, so it might be "big") fear I have of a certain type of insect. I have such a nasty and literally paralyzing fear of these creatures that I couldn't even post a picture of them here on the blog (believe me, I tried looking for a good picture but all the pictures I was seeing made my heart race and feel as though the walls were closing in me...seriously. I know. I have issues.) So, no picture for you.
CRICKETS.
Big, black, ugly, hopping crickets.
Why the sudden blog about these vile, disgusting...things? Recently, there happened to be one crawling on my desk in front of my keyboard as I was typing away. I nearly had a heart attack. (Our office is in the middle of a mass remodel and thus, the buggies keep appearing.) I scooted away and called for back up.
Here is what happens when I see a cricket. I freeze. Let's say I'm walking along in the hallway and suddenly appears a cricket. Do I ignore it? Heck no. Do I do anything about it? Another Heck no. Instead, I merely back away slowly and then freeze. It's like a stare down with the creature...a quest to see who will go away first. If the little sucker hops, I completely freak...because, of course, I know that it is purposely hopping towards me in hopes to land on me! I know how their creepy little minds work.
It's happened before, you know.
The scene: I'm like 5. It's late at night. My bro and I go to our bedroom to go to bed. I move the little tiny baby bed away from my bed for a bit (to put Baby to sleep), and wa lah...big, ugly, cricket creature appears. I say to parentals..."there's a cricket." Parentals response..."step on it." Ok. No problem. I stomp. Cricket hops. I stomp again. Cricket hops again. I stomp again. Cricket disappears. Poof. Like that. Parentals are now in doorway wondering about the stomping and the status of the cricket. I say to parentals..."where'd it go?"
Pause.
I feel something hop up my pant leg.
That's right, my friends. The cricket attacked me! Up the pant legs it went...off the pants went (very quickly, I might add). The scene was chaos from there and to this day, I have no recollection as to what happened to the cricket after that. The trauma had already set in.
Since then...I'm convinced that all generations of cricket are breeding to torment me...FOREVER.
I need help.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Paralyzing fear...
Posted by terriH at 9:24 AM
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5 comments:
CRACK ME UP!
I hate crickets (or any bugs really) as well. If there's a cricket in the house, my hubby will try to catch it and then set it free outside instead of catching it. Yea, grosses me out and irritates the fire out of me. I say "kill 'em all!"
Thanks for the laugh this morning!
i am so not laughing at you....really....not laughing, but having great pity on you....suffice it to say i wish i could have been there....not to laugh, but to squish its little brains out for you. 'cause that's what i'm here for....not for laughing....tee hee... :)
oh my dear, sweet Terri.
I totally feel your pain. Completely and totally know the torment bugs and insects can have on ones life.
I think they should all die. Every single one of them....
:)
I dont really have a fear of crickets, but I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during the episode you had while you were a little girl!
shelly, it's always good to have a hubs who will kill for you ;)
thanks for not laughing at me, heidi. i know you would squish it's brains out if it's crunchy shell for me. and not laugh. that's what friends are for :)
ashlee, thanks for feeling my pain. do you remember the time constance put a cricket in my big candle on my coffee table in my apartment??????????? i still have nightmares.
andrea, yeah, it wasn't a pretty site. i distinctly remember my pants were purple. and bell bottomy. nice.
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